Grief and my daily routine
It's so much more important to express your grief and to know that some funny little feelings you have or some big responses to something seemingly insignificant to others are all about your grief. Hard for others to understand you? Is it hard to share these moments? Do they think you are crazy at times or do you think you are going crazy?
I recall a phone call from a former hospice bereaved, who said, "It was an ordinary day, with an ordinary work routine and standard scheduled calendar events. I was doing really well that day, until the door opened and the xray on wheels guy arrived to set up for the routine chest x-rays given to the crew.
I felt uncomfortably warm and all of a sudden heavy wave of grief washed over me, leaving me in a puddle of tears ... I was totally caught off guard as the equipment rolled in and the medical tech set up for the routine chest x-ray screenings."
She went on to say, "No one could understand my outburst and the connection to what was happening. I felt terribly out of control, as my concerned co-workers suggested I needed to take some time off. I was so undone, I had to take the afternoon off to recover from my meltdown. In retrospect, the connection was obvious, as my husband had had lung cancer and had gone through many chest x-rays in the course of his cancer treatment. No one could see the obvious connection at the moment. They just knew I wasn't at my best!"